BMT + 3 and + 4

Haem: 68

White: 0.0

Platelets: 17

Neut: 0.0

Weight: 63.3

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Did not have the energy yesterday to open computer and do anything much at all. It was another day of sleeping, throwing up and then started to temperature spike. So, once hit over 38 degrees blood cultures etc have to be taken and so the room was busy for a while. I wasn't very talkative yesterday, but it was nice to see my parents and cousin in the morning - although I feel there is nothing worse than me throwing up in front of people!

The rest of the day was getting anti nausea drugs pumped into me to try and stop me throwing up and to try and stop the stomach cramps. I slept a lot and nothing much more.

Afternoon saw first temp over 38 degrees, so the process began with the blood cultures, and seeing Dr's. I have a stomach bug called Clostridium Difficile which apparently is quite common, but with no neutrophils to fight it, creates some of the problems I am having. So I'm now on antibiotics for that, and other general spectrum ones to try and combat the temp spikes from last night - as they got a bit higher, but luckily where not last long. So with each spike, had to see another Dr - but all agreed there was not much else they could do at that stage for me.

Today woke early, after a decent night's sleep but promptly fell back to sleep so didn't wake until about 8.00am.

Day started with the ongoing issues of stomach cramps etc - but on a lesser scale than day before.

Anth arrived for Christmas 'breakfast' which was a half bowl of rice bubbles for me. I just wanted something to stay down.

We opened our few Xmas presents and then got to speak to everyone at home. I thought I would be OK, but have to admit there were tears. Everyone sounded like they were having so much fun - but I'm embarrassed to admit I really lost it when they put the phone down for me to 'talk to the dogs'! I just feel the animals don't understand why I'm not there and as much as they are having a wonderful time, I don't want them to feel abandoned. At least all the humans in my life understand what is going on.

So after talking to everyone, the day was actually a pretty busy one.

The hospital was generous with gifts and I received today

* A bag of platelets

* A nasogastric tube (which went in - not pleasant, but I survived and then they take a chest xray only to find it went in a bit too far and had to pull it out a bit and re-position it a bit later)

* 2 bags of packed cells (blood for haemaglobin)

* New dressing on Hickman's line and removal of stitches.

So, decided at about 5.00pm to go for a walk around the ward to move a bit as I've been in bed the last few days but got as far as the door to my room and started throwing up again - so back to bed!

Feeling a bit better at the moment. Not enjoying the nasogastric tube. When I swallow it seems to hit a spot on the back of my throat that contributes to the nausea and if I twist to reach for something, or lean forward it feels like it's pulling or dragging a bit - but I'm told I'll get used to it....