Day 30: They are torturing me!

Thursday

WCC: 0.7

Neut: 0.3

Hb: 104

Platelets: 23

Weight: 61.5kg

So there is an obsession with the numbers at the moment. My weight continues to go down as they stop pumping so many fluids into me and continue with the tablets to help me lose it, and things are feeling better as the fluid comes off.

It was very nice to see a tiny increase in HB & Platelets from yesterday - not big numbers, but much better to see this than big drops, so I didn't need any blood products today.

Big number that we need to change, but did not is the neutrophils which taunted me at the start the of week but have now not shifted from 0.3. This is where the torture is coming into play. Today I've been told I won't be home this week, maybe I could be home in the next 2 days, it'll depend on neutrophils, so it could be 4 - 5 days - different people, different times and hopes go up and down!

I'm not going to plan anything, and just be ready to go as soon as they say. I saw how quickly it happened today with the guy in the room next to me sent home today - a bit out of the blue.

Yesterday I posted the patchy hair, and today, it has now essentially gone. I got in the shower this morning, with 2 increasing bald patches developing from each temple and decided to lets see what happens, so I ran my hands through my hair and it just came out, and kept on coming. So, post shower, there wasn't much left at all - except for a patch around the back that seems to be hanging on!

My parents and D1 came for a visit and bought the clippers, to tidy up what was left. The back has now been clipped, but is still pitch black which is of course a great contrast to the very white scalp!

Certainly is confronting when passing the mirror. I have been wearing a beanie most of today but learnt not to fall asleep in it as woke up feeling a bit hot!

Unexpected good news today was that I was unhooked from the IV line... well for a couple of hours. They have stopped all but 1 IV antibiotic so I got disconnected at around 4.00pm, but have just been re-connected (8.00pm) for another 2 hours. However, I've been told I'll be disconnected again after that - so a night not connected to the IV line - I am not complaining about that!

So, now it's just watch and wait and fingers crossed for the blood results tomorrow